once again I find myself in the depression quagmire. this dark place where reality is suspended and it seems as if I am living very close to the mouth of hell.
I find myself angry at God and wondering if he is just a figment of my imagination, and not only that but I find myself beginning to dislike him.
I find this very upsetting. I am told that I am to love, just love. Love God, my enemies, friends and so on....but I have no love within myself. Everything I do is done out of a sense of duty and obligation...and even fear of getting in trouble if I don't.
If I could see my spirit, I would see that I've fallen into a pit - a trap set by the wicked one designed to maximise my self pity and sense of injustice.
I'll wait on the Lord. He'll come. He'll rescue me and I'll be happy again.
c.anna
2 comments:
Hello,
Love the blog post!!! You are really a blessing in my life. Reading things like this really inspires me to look into myself and change things for the better. I have switched over to a different blog. It is still the same look but I had to change emails so because of that I had to switch over to a new blog. I made sure I was following you again. I hope you do the same and follow and read up on my blogs. I will even be posting a new one today!!! So lets follow each other and be inspired and encouraged by each other's blog.
Gregory A Keels
Oh my gosh, I could have written this dear one myself. I so understand where you are coming from. ((((C.Anna))))
Here listening.....
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