So. I've been told that God has a plan for my life and that if I would only somehow shift myself off of my inward axis and allow Him to rule where self is seated, then He will live through me and accomplish all of His plans and my place in Heaven will be secured.
I have had the Bible verse quoted to me, 'it is no longer I that live but Christ that lives in me.' I've stared at diagrams of a circle with a little throne in the middle of it with a big letter 's' on it and then a second circle the same except there is the letter 'C' on it and the circle represents my life. The latter circle seems to be the one that is desired.
I can't imagine. I can't even fully grasp what this thing called 'self' really is and its even more confusing to try to figure out how to get rid of it. I've poured over the tracts and asked all manner of pastors, priests, and christians who believe themselves to have successfuly accomplished this task only to discover that these folks are just as ordinary and sinful as me.
so. After much delliberation and prayer and the passage of years, I've come to the conclusion that there are 3 very important things that I can aspire to at all times.
1- to love God
2- treat others exactly the way I want to be treated
3- keep my life as simple as possible and do whatever I'm doing in the moment well and attentively.
Keeping these 3 things in mind at all times isn't easy - and carrying them out isn't always easy either.....but its a concept I can grasp.
c.anna
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The sum of me is merely a dividend
Am I the sum of my ideas and beliefs? I don't even know all of them and they are me. I am a desert.
This constant blowing of thought and the constant struggle to sort and catalogue each grain of sand as it spins is a constant distraction.
The strength is in the storm and the potential of it is lost in the explaining.
It is such a challenge. Such a complete and utter mystery of miraculous consideration to strive not to understand, to not identify, to not observe, to not even record the experience of it all.
c.anna
This constant blowing of thought and the constant struggle to sort and catalogue each grain of sand as it spins is a constant distraction.
The strength is in the storm and the potential of it is lost in the explaining.
It is such a challenge. Such a complete and utter mystery of miraculous consideration to strive not to understand, to not identify, to not observe, to not even record the experience of it all.
c.anna
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