every so often I have a time of stormy and unpleasant thoughts and feelings that cause me to suffer and squirm.
at those times, my thoughts are constantly focused upon my every shortcoming and my conscience threatens me with loss at every turn. I become suspicious of my employers, my co workers, my clients, and I doubt my worthiness of any small enjoyment.
and prayer is a very difficult and arduous task. I simply cannot remember that I'm praying once I get past, 'Dear Jesus' - my mind flies away to fancies of destruction and self accusation.
self pity and sloth quickly set in and I am lost to the quagmire until it passes....seemingly on its own. I wish I could stand up and declare some positive coping skill that makes it all go away, but truth be told, it simply passes on its own.
pride leads me to claim that I hurry the process along by looking for the good and by being some kind of John Wayne of the mental health wild west. But no. it simply passes.
and that is what I want to share with anyone who wonders how to cope. just feel the pain, let the hurricane blow itself out.
the slogan 'this too shall pass' isn't as trite as one would think at first glance.
c.anna
