So. I've been having a real spiritual struggle that has spanned the last few months. I have had an ever increasing suspicion that God was fed up with my bad attitude and was done forgiving me for my constant weakness.
I have also had increasing difficulty with prayer. I start 'oh God' or 'Oh Lord' and don't get any further than that.
Today I googled the question 'will God forgive me' and I came across an article reminding me that if I forgive I will be forgiven and if I show mercy I will receive mercy..and if I don't believe God is forgiving and merciful toward me, then I will have a hard time being that way myself.
If I were confident of God's love and mercy and constant forgiveness toward me, then I would not be so easily offended and quick to anger.
That's where I have been slipping. I have a hard time believing that God isn't fed up with me and, still loves me. I need to regain confidence in the love and mercy of God toward me. Time to pull my nose out of the air and put it into my Bible. I have fallen far.
Lord. You are my shepherd and I am your lamb. Please lift me out of this hole I have fallen into.
Amen
c.anna
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